You really need to be a math nerd to truly enjoy drinking alcohol responsibly

Drinking any kind of alcohol regularly is a peculiar activity. Not because of the general “effect” it has on the human body – but rather the fact that there are so many “variables.”

Saying you had a “few drinks” is really an ambiguous statement! As it all depends on WHAT and exactly HOW MUCH you consumed!

Even if you had a “six-pack of beer” on Friday and another on Saturday doesn’t mean you felt the same the day afterward (if you drank different beers each night).

And relying on how you feel as you consume is a grossly inaccurate control measure.

So what to do? How to solve that quagmire?

Establish baselines, measure, calculate, and control yourself!

In the video above – we talk about several steps to find the true “ideal” amount of alcohol you can consume in a night, without completely RUINING your next day.

But we’ll do a brief summary here which is expanded on in our video presentation.

1. Find your true “limit” (i.e., baseline)

The first step is to establish a RELIABLE baseline. And that requires some data accumulation. Fun data accumulation, actually. It’s a form of self-experimentation. It could take days. Preferably a week or two, ideally a month or so.

And that is the maximum amount of (any) kind of alcohol you can consume in a given night – where you can function 100% fine the next day. Being a little rough around the edges in the morning is acceptable, provided it doesn’t last longer than an hour.

This limit needs to be replicated several times with perfect success in order to establish it as your “baseline.” You need to also understand your “zone.”

2. Measure and calculate your total consumption (time plays a role too)

I should add that your drinking time also needs to be established. Are you planning on a few hours before bed? Or longer? At night, or during the day?

The whole point is to have that control measure set up for both AMOUNT and LENGTH of time of consumption.

For example – our current baseline is 6 cans (six) of Smirnoff Spiked Sparkling Seltzer (watered down into six total 32oz jugs of cocktail). The average time of consumption is around five hours.

But the main point is we consume the approximate total of 96ml of 100% alcohol in that time.

3. Find the equivalent – can it be done?

So this is where further experimentation is required. If (X) number of one drink works well – how would (Y) of another fare? With the same amount of total alcohol?

For this, you need to find your match. In our case, examples would be – How much red wine could we have? Or how many Vodka drinks would I have? At what mix ratio?

For instance – a 750ml bottle of 13% red wine is about equal to my baseline six cans of seltzer. Could I make that last five hours? Probably.

But we most likely wouldn’t enjoy how watered down that drink would taste, despite being similar alcohol percentage per glass. This is why our baseline last year was two friggin’ bottles of red wine! Totally insane!

Similarly – you can pull off an almost comparable drink with vodka (40ml) + seltzer. We’ve done that with great success.

4. Control is the key

Since you have the measures – and understand what the equivalents are – it is crucial to stay within the limits to ensure your desired outcome (within the baseline for no hangover).

But in some cases – you go off track.

– If you stop measuring and just start guzzling.
– You go beyond your limits.
– You consume too fast.
– “Just one more!”

We found the worst case is vodka. Like our favorite Pinnacle Vodka. It is so easy to over-pour each drink beyond the “recommended” amount we calculated. And before you know it – you’ve exceeded you established baseline and have now given yourself trouble for the next day.

Luckily for us – the wine in general, became disagreeable with our body and we can abstain.

Again, this is why we purposely dilute our drinks in order to allow some leeway in consumption periods. A perfect drinker would be in-tune with themselves (say they all of a sudden had a burst of energy and can stay up for a few more hours), then it is time to reduce the potency of your drinks to allow for more time. Otherwise – you’re exceeding your established baseline consumption levels.

But in the end – consuming alcohol isn’t too rational to begin with – and expecting perfect “lab science” when your judgment becomes clouded is a lot to ask for.

Just throwing the knowledge into the wild here in case it might help people or you find it interesting.

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About the author


NJroute22 (site admin) is an avid traveler along NJ Route 22 (and almost all of central New Jersey!) Family man, pet lover, and property owner who has a natural curiosity for everything around.