Crazy – why so many slim cans?

Crazy – why so many slim cans?

In today’s VLOG – we talk about this ODD trend regarding slim cans.

What was wrong with standard 12-ounce cans? Why slim cans all of a sudden?

Back in the day – all 12-ounce beverage cans were the same.

All sodas, beers, and other drinks in a “tin can” (as they used to say – even though they were aluminum), were the exact same size.

A perfect size, in fact! Fit your hands well, and was not prone to tipping over easily.

Nowadays – you have a massive infiltration of these stupid “slim cans!” Why is that?

We have a few reasons.

  • Marketing. People can no longer read “left to right.” “Too long, didn’t read” is the saying these days (TL;DR is the format online) and by having taller boxes – people and just read up and down – just like their cell phones. Like their eyes cannot even function anymore unless it’s in a three-inch or less horizontal zone.
  • Shelf space. You can’t really stack any higher – but by making them slim, you can stack more DEEPER. More inventory.
  • Sissification. Back in the day – men were men. Size or grip was not an issue. Today – you have both many more WOMEN drinkers, along with their Soy-Boy counterparts. You know, the ones with limp-wrists who have never lifted anything heavy in their life besides their laptop bag – which is too heavy already.
  • The main reason why we HATE slim cans

    You know what? It’s due to physics.

    The slim cans are “floppy” to some degree. With the higher center of gravity, they just easily topple over. Sucks stacking them in the fridge.

    You can’t just throw them in like a man. You have to carefully and gingerly place them in the fridge as if you were handling a museum exhibit. SUCKS.

    Having such a small footprint and higher profile makes no sense to US, however, we do understand the motivation, as we’ve detailed already.

    It just stinks that companies pander to their customers in each and every aspect – even if it defies common sense.

    I guess if your customers are getting weak, lazy, and stupid – you have to make accommodations, or you will lose out. Such a shame.

    This is exactly why we give bonus points to any seltzer company (even if their product is not exactly up to our standards) that offers traditional-sized 12-ounce cans. We give a pass to some like Smirnoff – because the quality of their product is so good, we suck it up and ignore the dumb cans. Most others – all bets are off.

    The bottom line is – we cannot understand what was WRONG with the original 12-ounce cans. Were they so deficient that they ABSOLUTELY had to be changed? Was it something else? Such as Red Bull or other crappy drinks that set some bogus standard that everyone followed like lemmings off a cliff?

    I don’t know for sure – but I’m getting ideas to make a fun t-shirt I can sell online that honors the (sadly) “old-fashioned” 12-ounce can.

    Can you think of some fun slogans we can use? “Slim cans are for sissies!” or something like that?

    Have a great day!

    slim cans

    0 0 votes
    Article Rating

    About the author


    NJroute22 (site admin) is an avid traveler along NJ Route 22 (and almost all of central New Jersey!) Family man, pet lover, and property owner who has a natural curiosity for everything around.

    NJ Route 22 Comment Section

    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments
    Would love your thoughts, please comment.x